Belgium Will Euthanize Jailed Rapist Who Doesn't Want to Live Anymore

Belgium's authorities have agreed to euthanize Frank Van Den Bleeken, a prisoner serving a life sentence for rape and murder. Even though the country doesn't have the death penalty, authorities have let prisoners with terminal illnesses be put to death since 2002. Van Den Bleeken's illness, however, is psychiatric—he… » 9/16/14 5:15pm Yesterday 5:15pm

Chelsea Manning Breaks Silence to Criticize U.S. Airstrikes on ISIS

Chelsea Manning, the U.S. soldier currently serving a 35-year prison sentence for leaking government documents to WikiLeaks, wrote a column for The Guardian criticizing Obama's approach to ISIS. "Based on my experience as an all-source analyst in Iraq during the organization's relative infancy, ISIS cannot be defeated… » 9/16/14 12:05pm Yesterday 12:05pm

Kanye Responds to Wheelchair Incident: "I'm a Married, Christian Man"

In what certain outlets have characterized as a "rant," Kanye West responded to media publications (like ours) that reported he told a fan in a wheelchair to "stand up" at one of his concerts. His response? "I'm a married, Christian man... pick another target." » 9/15/14 5:25pm Monday 5:25pm

Lindsay Lohan Handled Whitney Houston's Corpse at L.A. Morgue

Enthusiastic storyteller Lindsay Lohan told an interviewer this weekend that while she was doing 12-hour shifts in a morgue as court-ordered punishment for drunk driving, she handled Whitney Houston's dead body. The work was, as she recalls, "F'd up and inappropriate." » 9/15/14 10:54am Monday 10:54am

Grandmothers Rejoice as Cool Pope Marries Couples Living in Sin

Cool Pope is at it again. This Sunday, he's going to marry 20 couples who are already cohabiting. Some of the couples even have kids! Their poor Catholic grandmothers are going to feel so much better now. (Cohabitation is a sin in the Catholic Church). » 9/12/14 5:42pm Friday 5:42pm

Democratic Congressman Recommends "Sexting" to Organize Voters

Rep. James Clyburn, a sweet old Democrat from South Carolina who may or may not own a cellular device, has some ideas about how to organize voters in Ferguson and elsewhere. He told a C-SPAN caller, "We've got great tools to communicate... We can text—what do we call it? Sexting. Let's do some … organizing over the… » 9/12/14 2:32pm Friday 2:32pm

James Foley's Mom Says U.S. Government Threatened Her Over ISIS Ransom

Diane Foley, whose son James was beheaded by ISIS earlier this month, told ABC News that an Obama official threatened her and her family over his ransom payments. According to Diane, a high-ranking military officer in President Obama's National Security Council told her she'd be prosecuted for supporting terrorism if… » 9/12/14 2:15pm Friday 2:15pm

Apparently Kid Plays With Puppies in His First Commercial, Apparently

"Apparently this is my first ever TV commercial," says Apparently Kid in the above spot for FreshPet pet food. He goes on to play with puppies and make some fart jokes, apparently. Thank god his delightful demeanor and cute round face have finally been properly monetized. » 9/12/14 10:49am Friday 10:49am

Hannity Guest: Janay Rice "Knocked Herself Out," Ray Is "Bigger Victim"

A. J. Delgado, a National Review columnist whose best-known work is titled "Crying Rape," was a special guest on Sean Hannity's radio show this week. Hannity got her take on the video of NFL star Ray Rice knocking his then-fiancée Janay out cold in an elevator, because why not? Here's Delgado's theory: Ray is the… » 9/12/14 10:09am Friday 10:09am

LSU Frat Bros "Sorry" About Their Michael Sam Gay Sex Joke Banner

LSU's Delta Kappa Epilson chapter is awful sorry about the banner they hung from their frat house this weekend for the game against Sam Houston State, which read "Michael isn't the only Sam getting the D tonight." While "satire" was the goal, DKE brothers say, "crossing the line and causing offense to others [was]… » 9/11/14 5:42pm Thursday 5:42pm

Teacher Accidentally Shoots Herself in the Leg Before First Period

A teacher at Westbrook Elementary School in Taylorsville, Utah, accidentally shot herself in the leg this morning while preparing to mold young minds in the teacher's lounge. According to KSL TV, "no students were present when the shot was fired," but the teacher is in "serious condition." She was rushed to a local… » 9/11/14 1:05pm Thursday 1:05pm

Andrew Garfield Says Andrew Garfield Absolutely Didn't Ruin Spider-Man 2

Bleeding heart beardo and Emma Stone-dater Andrew Garfield has taken some time to reflect on why the latest Spider-Man movie he starred in, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, sucked so bad. Here's his conclusion: he 100 percent had nothin' to do with it. In an interview with the Daily Beast, he explained: » 9/11/14 10:42am Thursday 10:42am

12-Year-Old Girl Accused in Slender Man Stabbing Found Unfit for Trial

One of the 12-year-old girls accused of stabbing a peer 19 times to please the made-up Internet character Slender Man has been found unfit to stand trial, according to her attorney. Assistant state public defender Joseph Smith Jr. said today that his client "is not presently competent to proceed" with the trial based… » 9/10/14 5:18pm 9/10/14 5:18pm

Lovestruck, ISIS-Obsessed American Teen Pleads Guilty to Terror Charge

Shannon Maureen Conley, the 19-year-old Denver, Colorado resident who fell in love with an ISIS militant online, pleaded guilty today to "providing material support" to ISIS. She's agreed to provide the FBI information about her conspirators, but she still faces up to five years in jail and a $250,000 fine. » 9/10/14 2:30pm 9/10/14 2:30pm